Thursday, July 9, 2009

Incidental Thoughts

This is the face of exhaustion, by the way. Lurking in the cracks (affectionately referred to as wrinkles) is disquietude. But fear not, a pessimist is merely an optimist with experience.

And suddenly my thoughts turned to 2 things. 1. The nightmare I had two nights ago about witnessing a random stranger set themselves on fire, as if nothing, at a relatives house. And everyone there was acting as though he was not even there and 2. My other thought is that of Anna from the show Ace of Cakes. She visually epitomizes how I like a woman to be. And she's mad easy on the eyes, man.

I don't know why these two thoughts popped into my head but....they're there. I really should try to go to sleep, albeit I'm truly not fighting it, or just think about something else.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Crabs Bereft of Life Come to Take Your Light

Man oh man, I cannot stress to you, fair reader, how delighted I am that the farcical, nay comical, tribute show to Michael Jackson (from yesterday) is over. Delighted I am, indeed. To begin with, I don't want you to think I am some type of hater of Michael Jackson; I'm just someone who thought he had a few popular hits and he kind of was at the right place at the right time and was marketed very well. I used to believe as a child that the "M" in MTV stood for Michael or Madonna because it seemed that was all that they would play in heavy rotation. Michael with his cinematic-like videos which were more short movies than anything, and Madonna practically shaking what her momma gave her and exposing it as much as the censors would allow.

Some people truly have little talent but strike gold. I personally believe Michael Jackson was one of those people. I mean really, was Michael a great singer, by musical standards? Absolutely not! Shit I've heard people in karaoke bars that sing better than Michael. But you know what? The guy was a hell of an entertainer. Shit, even Mick Jagger can't sing for shit (in my opinion) but on stage, like Michael, he fucking owns it and has the audience eating out of his hands. Why do you think the Rolling Stones have been around so long even without the heavy use of MTV and VH1. I personally dig the Rolling Stones music, but shit even I know Mick Jagger can't sing and I also know Michael Jackson can't sing either. I know he can hiccup like the best of them, this being one of his 'signature sounds'; that and his squeal. And his dance moves; well of course again he was the consummate entertainer. I do believe his dancing inspired....well....other 'entertainers' in the pop world like your Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears and well, pretty much anyone in the 'Pop world' that utilizes dancing as a means of distracting the listener (and observer) of their lack of vocal range or lack of depth to the words they are saying.

I honestly believe that Michael was probably one of the most understood, yet misunderstood and unfortunate people in the world. Due to the way he was raised (or claims to have been raised) it sucks to think that you were robbed of a childhood. I'm sure everyone can look back on theirs and probably wish they could go back there. But Michael, poor guy never wanted to grow up because who wouldn't want to be a kid and have the means and funds to do ANYTHING?! Shit, had I been abused and afforded almost anything in the world, I probably would be 50 and never want to grow up either. So I honestly don't blame him for being the misunderstood eccentric individual that he was; I really don't. But I do think that somewhere along the line, someone should have stepped in and honestly helped him. But that help never came. I do believe that pretty much everyone around him was a parasitic creature in his life and that just kept the shit storm that was his life in full swing.

I don't want to delve too deeply into this but my stance is simply this; he was a public figure, he was rich, he was probably mostly misunderstood, he was in essence a victim and lastly he was just another human being. Human beings died all over the world the same day that he did. Some were murdered, some died of natural causes, some died in a war, some died by accident, some died of starvation and some died of disease. Why are we only celebrating one person?!? I don't care if you sold more records than there are bibles in the world (not that I'm religious, that's another topic for another day), it makes you no more important than a starving child or an innocent victim. I respect the fact that Michael was a grand (to my understanding) humanitarian especially in the field of monetary donation because when you reach into your pockets AND give of YOUR personal time, that speaks volumes, to me at least.

So really all the fanatics and whatnot, I just can't wrap my head around the idea of feeling this overwhelming sadness like they do. If my favorite artist died, I would be upset. But it's a part of life. And why is my favorite artist not being honored in the same way, in a gold casket at the Staples center? Just because Michael didn't touch me (no pun intended) the same way another artist did or sell as many records, he or she is not to be honored in the same way publicly? That's why I'm so opposed to all the charades. And I honestly think that all those fake-ass people that performed and spoke at his memorial are full of shit. People will do anything for exposure. It was like a giant bucket of crabs and watching them all climb over each other to get out of their shit-hole and into the limelight.

Amazing what fame and money does to people. Not even death amongst them deters them. So rest in peace, gloved-one. You may or may not have been guilty of the crimes you were accused of doing and although I have a faint belief that you were guilty, I have no ill-will against you (since you're now gone, nor have I really ever), I just abhor your fans.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

In a Perfect World....

I think I found a picture of myself in a past life. Most don't know, but next to dogs, my favorite animal is an elephant. People fail to realize how awesome these creatures are. And yes, as a child, I loved Dumbo. Get off my back. But I do love me some elephant ears (funnel cake) when I make it out to a fair.

You Have No Choice But to Choose

I've argued practically all of my pessimistic life (not including when I actually was an optimist) that there is black and there is white. I mean even gravity proves this; if you balance something on any ledge or flat surface, etc. and it will eventually fall to one side or the other. So with that in mind, heed this message.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Note to Self: No One Really Cares

By the way, you can follow me here on my Twitter because I rule!.....the 10ft radius around me and defend it properly.

Flying Is Still the Safest Form of Travel

I too want to fly.

Friday, January 9, 2009

A Promise is a Promise is a Promise is a Joke

I must say I feel terrible. No, not literally but figuratively speaking. I have neglected my poor blog. And what bothers me the most is that I have had PLENTY to blog about. So, as I sit here and sip on my delicious alcoholic beverage during lunch, provided by the good graces of my friend RaShaun's liquor cabinet (thanks!), I am going to start off by writing about New Year's Resolutions.

Personally, I think New Year's Resolutions are one of the stupidest things I hear come out of people's mouths. People always say, "I'm going to do this or that..." and the truth of the matter is; they don't. This falls under my category of words that have lost their meaning, like; "I love you" & "I would never fill in blank.." or "I promise". These are all collective words that have lost absolute meaning to me. Not because I am personally jaded or anything; I am not only experienced, but a keen witness to these words being both misused as well as abused.

Let's face it; society as a whole sucks. I mean really sucks. But that's because the majority is either ridiculously lazy or they just say shit like, "This year my New Year's resolution is to...blah blah blah" simply because they want to be part of the conversation. Come on people! You know you're not doing half the shit you said you would, this year. Very few of us do. But go fuck yourself if you don't and stop letting your stupid mouth write checks your body can't cash. Learn some dedication and perhaps you might find yourself either accomplishing goals you set or looking like a fool in front of people like me who remember the stupid shit you "swore to do" this year.

Example of a promise to be kept by me: I promise to be more cynical, more sarcastic and more apathetic than I was last year. Trust me, fuck-face; I won't let you down.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Yuletide Tail; Not Your Average Tale.

You pick up this working girl who's hooked on smack, who hustles and scores. "That's all I do." She says, she says, "Ten bucks for head, fifteen for half-and-half." She says, "Three hits a day at thirty five per.." You say, "..that's seven tricks a day at least." But she says, "Sometimes I get lucky. Once this guy gives me a bill and a half just to eat me...only time I ever came."

You figure you can save her. You sell your color TV; that keeps her off the streets for a whole day. You hock your typewriter for one job, then your shotgun, your watch....

A week later you say, "Listen, I'm a little short," but she says, "No scratch, no snatch." You say, "Look, it is better to give." But she says, "Beat off, ceep."

One night they spot you on the street in your skivvies trying to sell your shoes. You tell them who you are but they nail you. Then she happens to walk by and she says, "Christ, you look fucked!" She says, "Hang tough!"

But you don't say anything, you just think, "What a bum-wrap for a nice, sensitive guy like me."

Let it snow, let it snow....

Thanks PQM.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Don't Steal Another Man's Jizz. That's Just Wrong.

"Stealing things is a glorious occupation, particularly in the art world."

-- Malcolm Mclaren

So, Coldplay front man and main song writer, Chris Martin has now been accused of plagiarism by guitar-god Joe Satriani. Apparently there are way too many similarities in the melody for Joe Satriani's "If I Could Fly" and Coldplay's "Viva La Vida".  There's an article here with both songs played for comparison. 

My take on this, as a musician myself is this; Coldplay is a little whack. They're akin to the movie Twiins. Radiohead is like Arnold Schwarzenegger's character who was born first; with like all the awesome-sick genes and Coldplay is like Danny DeVito's character who came after and is comprised of all the shit genes. Funny thing is; the aforementioned statement and analogy is not even mine. I totally plagiarized Amado V. That was his statement, in a conversation we had. See? We're ALL thieves. I just thought the irony was too great to not capture and write about here. Only I know Amado's not going to sue me, also.

Plus, I mean, how annoying is Chris Martin? You know the other guys in the band can't stand him because no one even knows who the hell they are! That band might as well be called the Chris Martin Band. CMB! Like DMB, which is another annoying band I cannot fucking stand. Seriously; fuck you if you even remotely like Dave Matthews Band. And fuck you Chris Martin for writing The Scientist and having it remind me of my ex; now I really hate you. 

Let me see you plagiarize this:

Monday, December 8, 2008

Links, Not To Be Confused With Lynx

Real quick hits for your mental snacking and crotch-region entertainment. Omar (CEASETODREAM PROMOTIONS) has a new blog he just started. Seriously, I've looked into the future, read his future posts and they are good. I mean, real good. If you like movies, you would definitely not only enjoy his blogs, but benefit from them as well. If you don't like movies, feel free to go buy a hand gun and shoot yourself because for some odd reason you are more than happy with your pathetic reality. So go check him out here. Be patient, he just started and he'll need a little time to start putting up those posts I have seen....from the future.

Another quick hit; Ben's blog is seriously some of the funniest shit I've read. I always envy people that can say so much in so little and Ben actually pulls that off real good.  And basically on just about any subject because really he thinks it and writes it; no filter. I on the other hand, ramble. Check his blog out here. He's also going to be working on a blog I'm a part of as well. It's a collective of writers that are basically going to respond to people sending in emails regarding anything and everything and the entire collective of writers will be responding; good or bad. So be ready for some serious elitism madness. The site's called Tastebuds. Check it out, it's getting started this week. Be one of the first to email them a question, a comment or concern about whatever; they will respond.

And last; I was talking with one of my best friend's Steve today from Black Sparrow Tattoos and, well I will not bore you with the entire details of our conversation, but I will point out an interesting blog that he brought up to me to check out. I did, I laughed and I pissed myself. It's called Cake Wrecks and it's basically a site about the most ridiculous cakes. Stupid cake ideas people have actually done and also pictures of mostly typographical or grammatical errors on cakes. Seriously, I went there and spent an easy hour on the site. Enjoy.

I'll write back more tomorrow. Still a lot to catch up on, like I said. Be patient you pieces of shit.