Sunday, November 30, 2008

Robot Jive Turkey

I hope everyone had a memorable Thanksgiving. I for one cannot wait for it to be over. I want to shed the 7lbs (Yes! 7!) I gained over the course of the last 5 days. Ridiculous I tell you. I was telling Lou that I went and bought myself two hoodies this morning because I'm going to punish myself for the foreseeable future. I'm running 5 miles in the morning in one and 5 miles in the afternoon with the other and all this will be taking place before I go to do my regularly scheduled work-out for the day. Turkey be gone from me!! No worries, though. I'll drop those 7lbs and a few more in less than 2 weeks. I knew it was going to come to this with the ridiculous manner in which I was eating, but fuck it. 

In the meantime, I just had to put this up because not only are the tracks sick, but obviously what this cat is doing is amazing as well. I am determined now to learn how to pop and lock as opposed to poop and rock. 

Enjoy. And thanks again Lou.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Relativity Of Relationships

Relationships, I tell you; tremendous jokes within themselves. I am of the mind-set now that a relationship is like a cancer, a sickness that prevents you from doing much. I mean, let's be honest here. There are those romantic fools that believe that when they are so "wrapped up in love'' that there is nothing that they can't do. Truth of the matter is; there is nothing that they do. You both (if you're lucky to not be the only one) have your heads so far up each others' asses that in reality, you don't have time to do anything else. In a relationship, you really accomplish much less than you would or could if you were single and not distracted.

A relationship is something you have to want to have; especially if you have no immediate ambitions. Take a look at me; there are numerous things I was able to accomplish in short amounts of time before and after my last relationship. Before; I rigorously went to the gym, ate healthy, lost 40lbs and was never as focused and determined. During my relationship; I gained 5lbs, went to the gym 10% of the time I normally would, lost all sense of what was right and what was wrong, got mentally and spiritually broken and was eventually replaced. Post relationship; regained focus (after x amount of time of feeling lost), lost the 5lbs I gained during the relationship, actually quit smoking, started writing again and became a lot more relaxed and irresponsible. The irresponsible comment is a testament to having learned simply to relax more and do less thinking, actually.

There were several things that I lost at the end of that relationship as well; my inability to trust whole-hearted, my faith in certain ideas I had about my own future and most of all, my desire for any type of commitment. I don't even want to sign any type of contract because of my overwhelming desire to not attach myself to anything. I feel like being just another floating asteroid bumping into things as I move along with no plan or desire to really get anywhere specific. I just want to float, hang out and be, for now.

I'm pretty much accomplishing this because my drive and determination to "take control of my life" has pretty much taken a back seat to more important things like "Not thinking and just doing." Yeah, pretty much now a days, the vast majority of my brain-power, if you will, actually gets applied to this blog and the other one that's in the works as of now.

I catch myself thinking sometimes; old habits die hard, I guess. But usually, I limit myself to simple thoughts and no (under any circumstances) over-thinking or over analyzing what so ever. I have come to learn more and more and appreciate more and more two things. And these are two things I recommend to you, whether you're currently in a relationship or not.

1. True perfection comes through effortlessness.

Nothing should be forced; let things take their own course. Trust me, I learned this the easy way and the hard way. If you sit still long enough in quicksand, it might actually spit you right back out. Things happen for a reason; what that reason is I don't know, but shit happens. Eventually you will know why.

2. Don't over analyze anything.

Over analyzing is like throwing a warm towel over your brain. The worst part about over analyzing is how it leads you to second-guess yourself. That's what kills me every time. I hate second-guessing myself and hardly ever do, but when I have, its very disheartening because I take pride in sticking to my decisions.

So really, there you have it; what has been on my mind today or rather this morning. I felt the need to write something of value because I hadn't had the opportunity this whole weekend, but I thought to myself, I had to make up for it today at some point. And I imagine I will probably write some more today if I make it home in one piece. Possibly seeing Q-Tip and The Cool Kids tonight at Revolution then going to Vagabond for the 80's Prom-thing they have going on there. Go out there and make it if you can; it should be a good time, even if just because I will be there. Haha.

Oh and lastly, always, always, always trust your gut instinct. Majority of the time, you're either right or just hungry. Either way, you can't go wrong.

Friday, November 21, 2008

A Sarah Palin Thanksgiving

This is by far one of the funniest things you are going to see. Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin pardons a turkey for Thanksgiving, then conducts an interview, apparently unaware of what is going on behind her. I watched this and literally cried from laughing so hard. Man, and to think that she could've been our Vice President.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A Hot Dog For Your Troubles

Fat Baby

Back at the end of October, I went to go celebrate my birthday in NYC, clear my head a bit from the events of the previous few weeks, wanted to be back in the city I lived in for a few years and of course, wanted to spend some time with Karen.

So, I flew in on Friday the 24th and the following day, Karen and I went to the Lower East Side to a club called Fat Baby, to meet up with some friends of hers; one in particular who was getting married or leaving town or both. So to not bore you with minute details, we'll fast forward several hours. 

There's an upstairs and a downstairs. I had a tab open at the bar upstairs and was hanging with Karen downstairs. She suggested I go upstairs and close my tab, seeing as how we were evidently spending the remainder of the night downstairs. I went upstairs and the bar was extremely packed and busy, so I figured I would take that opportunity to go outside and have a smoke (I just quit 2 weeks ago today, BTW). It was while smoking outside I realized that I was feeling a little inebriated and slightly empty, so I decided to venture and look for something to eat. After walking 2 blocks in this direction and 2 blocks in that direction, I finally settled on a large Hal-Al stand which coincidentally was directly across the street from the club. Why I didn't go there in the first place, I do not know. In case you don't know what I mean by Hal-Al; they're like the Middle Eastern guys that have the gyros and kabobs and whatnot.

The Stand

I walked up and was really not interested in the gyros, kabobs and anything else that was both grilling and fermenting in their own flavors, so I decided to go with a hot dog.

Me: "Can I get a hot dog, with Sauerkraut, mustard and a little relish and onions, please."

He proceeds to set this all up for me. 

As he is handing me the goods, he looks at me and says;

Vendor: "Do you mind watching the cart while I go to the bathroom."
Me: "What?!"
Vendor: "I really need to go to the bathroom. Do you mind watching the cart for me while I go? It's just inside that store across the street."
Me: " THE cart?! Are you serious? You're kidding, right?" 
Vendor: "Yeah, please watch..." as he takes off!

The Hot Dog

Now, I am left standing there; feeling like I just got recruited into something I wanted no part of. As I stand there, I think to myself, "Ok, I'm going to stand here for the duration of time it takes me to finish this hot dog. Mind you, we're talking like 2 minutes, tops. As I take my first bite, I'm staring at the cart as though it were a nuclear reactor or something. Now mind you, I consider myself a pretty accomplished cook but I won't lie; there was a level of intimidation. Or perhaps embarrassment? I mean, what if an attractive girl walked by and assumed I was the "hot dog guy" and not hot dog in the good way either!

I'm not done fully chewing my first bite, nor processing my thoughts when suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Hey man, 2 chicken kabobs." A random yuppie-looking drunk guy asks.

Me: "Uhm, I don't work here, dude. I'm just eating my hot dog."
Drunk: "Where is the guy?"
Me: "Believe it or not, he actually walked away and said he was going to the bathroom."
Drunk: "Really? Hhmmm."

He proceeds to walk past me, grabs 2 kabobs that were resting on the upper shelf of the grill and proceeds to cook them as his two friends start laughing at the situation. I just stand there; I mean, really, what the hell am I supposed to do? Plus, I wanna just finish my hot dog, get back inside, close and re-open my tab and get on with my night; its about 2:00 AM at this point. Now, I'm actually sitting here thinking, I'd better hurry before the guy comes back and tries to somehow pin the cost of this guy's food on me.

As he goes about grilling away, I say, "You know, if I were you, I'd hurry up because he left like a minute ago."

After a few more seconds, he grabs one of the kabobs off the grill and proceeds to eat it and walk away. He had travelled no more than 10 ft. when suddenly the vendor appears. He looks at the one kabob on the grill and looks at me.

Vendor: "What's this?"
Me: (Just now finishing my hot dog) "Uhm, that guy over there (as I point) decided to start cooking and walked away with a chicken kabob."
Vendor: "Did you charge him?!"
Me: "Did I charge him?!?! What the fuck you mean 'Did I charge him?' How the fuck am I supposed to know what to charge him, man!? I don't work for you! You don't have any signs up here stating how much anything is. You go get your money."

The Vendor proceeds to quickly hustle over to the guy and starts haggling him about the kabob. Somewhere I overheard the guy say he would pay to the tune of the vendor claiming the kabob was $6! Holy shit! He must've been price gauging his ass for trying to steal from him. Good thing there was that 1 chicken kabob left, still cooking on the grill. As those two were discussing their matter on the corner, not but 10 ft away from me,  I grabbed the last kabob and proceeded to eat it as I walked back inside the club. Hey, aside from having paid for the hot dog, I do think I deserved some form of payment for "working", even if it was short-lived for about 3 mins.

Only In New York, I tell you.

This is actually me, a few minutes after the incident, with Karen.

Some Long Distance Relationships Do Work


Shot from my screen.


Shot from Lou's screen. I don't like the fact hers was more clear than mine.

Ok, well in all actuality, Lou did kind of beat me to the punch in putting up last night's conversation picture. But I don't care; that's what she's got her own blog for as well.

I just wanted to kind of highlight last night's conversation with three of my best friends and kind of point out, as well as thank Apple, for making such a thing possible. You can see, in these photos, Laura, Karen, Lou and myself. All three of us talking live to one another via our Macs while being thousands of miles apart from each other. Lou and Laura are out in LA, Karen is in NY and I currently reside in Miami. All we needed was someone to be living in the North Pacific and we would have been covering all four corners of the country. 

Nothing too important, but at the same time, in regards to technology, I honestly find myself amazed at such little things I think we all take for granted. But for what it's worth, these are some of my dearest friends.

Monday, November 17, 2008

One of the Greatest Things You Should See 0.1

Bikers deserve love too. This is ridiculously hilarious.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Psalm 46:10 The First Entry

So this is the beginning of my blogging expedition. I and anyone actually reading this can thank Luisa for getting me started on this. I always did say that writing was not only a creative medium but an excellent outlet as least for me. Its been far too long since I wrote something other than scripts and short stories; about time I started getting out all the observations that stick with me, haunt me, bother me, excite me, confuse me and consume me. 

I will write my findings, thoughts and observations as often as possible. Hopefully I will get to the point where I am writing on a daily basis. Much therapy is needed....on my part; not so sure about you, fair reader. I don't expect you to find all of this at all interesting, but rest assure, I will make it as interesting as possible and at the very least will make you think about certain things, if you hadn't thought about them already. I'm not about to write about how my dog took a shit in the house today or how I was looking for something under a table and bumped my head whilst trying to get up. I'll be writing about the randomness and the people I encounter as well as the ideas that come to me. Feel free to steal them. Because I know some of you will. 

So just pay attention, laugh with me or at me; its all the same.